proceed with caution!

so here i was writing a post about the importance of not getting too comfortable in a situation when it dawn on me, is it really a bad thing to settle?

i mean especially in today's world, should we always be look for better.

in my opinion there's just too much choice in our lives which makes it difficult for us to be contempt with what we have. the same goes for relationships. there is no such thing as a 'perfect' relationship but why is it we all strive for perfection? me and a friend were discussing this exact topic earlier in the week. what we noticed was whenever a women or a man finds someone that fits the description of what they want, they often want more. the grass may not greener on the other side but is it ever worth letting go of what you have in the hopes you may find better. this goes back to the previous post i wrote about men and women not being able to be friends. i personally feel that if you are in a relationship and you have a friend of the opposite sex it may make you wonder if there are other men better than your partner. im not saying this is true for everyone but it is very often the case for the majority of people.

professor Barry Schwartz wrote a book on choice and he explained a situation where he went to a jean shop and asked for a regular pair of jeans as he was replacing a pair. the sales assistant then offered him:
easy fit
relaxed fit
baggy
extra baggy
stone-washed
acid washed
distressed
zip fly
button fly
faded
although he would have initially been happy with getting a 'normal' pair of jeans he started to wonder if another pair may be more comfortable,  would it fit him better? would it be more versatile? was he really making the best choice he could? although this example isn't an everyday example the situation can be adapted to all of our lives. we often doubt our choices because we have more options than we need.

is it better to be a maximiser or a satisfyer?

a maximiser is someone who will only settle for the very best and will not stop until they achieve it.

a satisfyer is someone who will settle for very good but often can not be bothered to shop around for the very best.

so in terms of love... who is more likely to find lasting love?
 
ultimately, being completely one or the other can have its downside.

one the one hand you have the maximiser who will constantly compare. they will compare their date to their friends boyfriends, their previous boyfriends and even their ideal  image which may not be realistic!  another problem a maximiser faces is often aiming  to date the most good looking person (even if they are out of their league) which can come with its own problem: rejection

on the other hand you have a satisfyer who will look for 'good enough' they wont compare one person to another but appreciate what the person in front of them has to offer. this is great in the beginning of a relationship but after a while, even if they are unsatisfied they will just settle in order to avoid hassle.

fortunately, very few people are strictly one or the other and so a compromise is necessary  at the start of the relationship it is important to be a satisfyer and appreciate you're dates individuality. after a few dates, its time to be a maximiser and only proceed is everything feels the 'very best'

with so much choice around i understand why some people find it hard to be contempt with their jobs, partners and lives but lets face it people, the grass isn't greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it.

xoxo

priorities please

i know its been a while since my last post but i have been very very busy.

lets just say i'm trying to be superwomen and leave it at that in order to avoid boring you all to death. 

i would say however, that in the last few months I've done ALOT of growing up and I've come to realize a few home truths. the main thing i've focused on is:

priorities...

 'get your priorities right' -we've all heard that before but i think we underestimate this statement SO much. 

ill show you just how important 'getting your priorities right' can be.

i would really like you all to think about your priorities and make a list of them (not in any order) 

ill do it with you so..

1) family

2) friends 

3) carer

4) boyfriend 

now the importance of recognized your priorities is being able to stay on the right track.

every time you  invest your time in ANY thing just stop and think, is this thing that im going to do be beneficial to any of my priorities. 

here is a recent example:

my friends had said they really wanted to go on a night out and we hadn't been out in a while so we needed a good time. unfortunately i had work the next day and the same day we planned to go out so getting wasted was not going to be beneficial to one of my priorities (carer) and not hugely beneficial to my other priorities (friends) so what i decided would be best is if i could turn it into a networking event. For my line of work building a network is crucially important because it really is who you know and very rarely what you know so i invited a few of my colleagues who invited some of their colleagues and my friends came along. we had a great time and i was able to meet people i would have never met if i hadn't organised the event and one of my friends was actually recommend for a position in a better company. 

now i know some people reading this will think BORING! priorities are for grown ups.... wakey wakey hunny you are a grown up and allot more of you should be acting like one!

i do agree that you should have a good time with your friends but not at the expense of damaging any of your priorities because, when building a future (if you want to be successful) you have to stay FOCUSED. there really is no better time than the present. i am the youngest in my area of the company to do what i'm doing and i think that's quite an achievement and it just means that when i'm older i will progress higher because i keep focus on my priorities. 

now for us ladies men are usually our downfall.

admit it!

i think men are where we loose allot of time and effort. 

the main thing to remember is that your boyfriend/husband/partner is going to be your rock and that's why you need to be with someone that is going to push you and motivate you to achieve your best at all times. 

i'm very very proud of my boyfriend and what hes achieved in his carer and he has often been my motivation and role model. growing up i didn't see much of a strong work ethic with anyone and so i expected to have an 'ok' life with an 'ok' job and that was all i expected i would achieve because after all i was from a family who hadn't established themselves in any field, i wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, i was from an estate which wasn't the best in terms of reputation, i knew nobody who had any connections to anyone in fact,  i knew no one who had even graduated from university and we had ALOT of ups and downs growing up (well mostly downs) so as you can imagine my chances for success were thin. but when i met my boyfriend (and excuse the cheese here) i started to think i could have a chance at this success thing. he has the strongest work ethic i have ever seen and that is something i instantly saw in him . he works really hard every day, when i wake up some morning and i'm having a i-want-to-die day and i cant be bothered for work i think of my boyfriend and think he wakes up no matter the circumstance and he goes to work and gives the day the best he has to offer so why cant i!? and better still why cant you!? sleeping in is not going to be beneficial to your priorities so get your ass out your bed and on that tube! i think the main thing here is that you need a partner who are going to push you that little bit further and often it is us women who are the only ones trying to keep motivated and the truth is not many men out there are pushing themselves to reach their full potential because they are too focused on the easy wins. 

friends are equally as important and like my boyfriend one of my best friends Erica is a good example of keeping focused. she travels a very long journey to work and often puts in allot more work than shes expected to but she does this and has been doing this for a long time in order to establish herself. she understands that its what you do now that counts and she is in the process of building a very strong carer and is another person who has a great work ethic and gives the world 110%. we can learn allot from friends like this because they are just like you doing the best they can with the resources they have. 

i know I've waffled on abit but i thought a few people could do with a kick up the ass and be reminded of their priorities because it isn't who you are now that's important, its who you're going to be tomorrow. break through that glass ceiling and do something for your future!

xoxo