Get your hair did!

Guuuuuurl I have some refreshing news.

So following my last experience at the hair dressers I vowed never to cut my hair again, I was going for the I'm - a- homeless - hobo- under -the - bridge look. But one of my best friends had to burst my bubble for me. I wasn't exactly rockin the world with my dredz like hair and I needed a hair cut.

 now let me tell you what happened last time... I went to 'sacha' hair salon in Enfield, all I wanted was a trim and some layers. Simple enough? As I sat there the man gave me a layer. That's one layer: a bob and then the rest of my hair was halved in length.

Like seriously ?

Do I look like a 1970's rock legend?

On top of it all I was sent home with wet hair in hopes that I wouldn't notice the piece of bird poop on my head. When I got home my mum have me a mirror, called me a mug and sent me back ( actually she called me a lot worse but it was in Turkish and there really is no need to re-live the embarrassment. ) Anyway they tried to reconstruct my Mohawk but it failed badly .


 Regardless I thought I had to eventually cut my hair so I took the plunge but I was smart. This time I went to an actual salon not a Turkish one.

I went to HOB in southgate and it was the best hair salon experience I've ever had. The salon director cut my hair and I love it!! I would recommend it to everyone! So I have a few 50% off vouchers to give away. You can use them in any HOB but I'd recommend the one in southgate just inbox me on fb or tweet me @dunyadee and i send it to you ( bloody nice I tell ya)


 Xoxo

What love has taught me...

just to contradict my last post here is a post full of unicorns and love rainbows because today (2.12.2012) is our anniversary (not with you guys but with my boyfriend).

Although to some 3 years is a long time, to me it has gone by so quickly and effortlessly it seems like yesterday that i first approached my boyfriend and told him i thought he looked like Jamie fox (eager beaver i know! but he seemed really shy so i thought i had to break the ice somehow). Being in a relationship for a while I've learnt a few things about love and partnership that i thought i'd share with you ladies in hopes that it may help you one day build a successful relationship. Now don't get me wrong there is still allot i need to learn but here are a few things I've come to grips with: 

1) Make sure you know what your looking for!

I know you guys may not believe me when i tell you this but a week before i met my boyfriend i sat down with my friend and made a list of all the things i wanted in a man. From looks to personality to skill. I had made a long list because i was sick and tired of meeting the same kind of person and wasting my time. Actually i wouldn't call it a waste of time because through meeting the wrong people you really find out what you DON'T want. So for the single girls out there who want a relationship (because it really isn't for everyone) make sure you know what you looking for. write a list or a poster or anything just so you have something to refer to when you meet your next victim.

2) Be patient!

Now here is a lie everyone gets told 'when you meet 'the one', you'll just know'. well that's a pile of sh*t because which one of us have been in a relationship which has failed that we once thought 'this is the one', i know every women who is reading this can agree with me on this one. The truth is there's two types of love. there's impulse love and real love. impulse love happens more commonly when were younger. Its when you meet someone and you have really strong emotions for them but then it fades away after about 3 months and then it becomes more of an obsession and this is when women get mistreated and stay with their partners after being let down over and over again. The thing with true love is that it takes work, patients and an effort on both parts. True love isn't like a sparkler that fizzes for a moment but then burns out, its more like a candle that might go out at times but is easy to relight because the wick is strong and stable. I think the reason why some relationships end too soon is because one or both of the people in the relationship are too scared to work on the relationship in the fear that it might fail and they may have wasted their efforts. But if your patient with your partner after a while you will adjust to each other and true love will begin to form.

3) You will have lows!

The truth is EVERY relationship you will ever have with anyone will have lows and we would be lying if we said we've never had a bad patch. What is important for you to remember is never to give up. Now my partner is better at this than me. i think sometimes when i get angry i think irrationally whereas hes more logical and this is where opposites work well together. One of you have to be the logical thinker. yes you've had a row SO WHAT? it doesn't mean its the end, its just a disagreement and those things are normal. i can honestly say our lows have made us stronger because sometimes we get so comfortable being happy that we forget how lucky we are and that's why lows are beneficial because it helps you appreciate what you have.

4) compromise!

now i know when your single you think ' if my man doesn't do.... i will leave his ass' . In reality  you 'man' will do somethings that wont please you and you will want to do certain things that he doesn't like but you have to remember relationships are give and take so maybe if hes told you hes not happy with something that you do you should stop doing it and soon you will see that when you ask him not to do something he will stop doing it for you.. this doesn't mean loosing your independence and don't let anybody tell you that. Its about respecting your man and  protecting your relationship. PLEASE pick you battles wisely, everything doesn't have to be a war somethings can be settled with a simple discussion. 

5) don't listen to anyone!

ladies i'm talking to you all here! sometimes your girlfriends don't know best. Now don't get me wrong, my friends have never told me to leave my boyfriend but i hear that many girls do have friends that are quick to tell them to leave their boyfriends. do not listen to your friends if this is the case. yes, your friends are looking out for you and in some cases they may be right but never ever ever break up with your partner because your friend told you it is the right thing to do. I promise you one day you will regret it and resent your friend even if it was the right thing to do because you didn't make your own choice.  Always make that decision yourself, your friends don't know the in's and out's of your relationship so they cant make that decision for you. 

6) show appreciation!

sometimes we become so used to receiving that we forget to thank our partners for what they do for us. so just say 'thank you' once in a while. after all, he doesn't HAVE to listen to you moan about how tired you are, he doesn't HAVE to go out to dinner with you, he doesn't HAVE to drop you to the train station, he doesn't HAVE to do anything, but he does it, for you,  so be grateful  I'm not saying worship the ground he walks on, I'm just saying say 'thank you' because then he will see that you realize what he is doing for you and it doesn't make you less of a person. If anything, it makes you a better person because your being considerate. 

i know this has probably been one of the longest posts I've ever written (and maybe the most boring for those man haters) but i could have gone on for longer because i felt it was a necessary post. i want to take the opportunity to thank my boyfriend for all the love he has given me over the years i really wouldn't be as strong as i am without him and i hope every girl finds the one for them but to my boyfriend i want to say THANK YOU for being my best friend, my rock and my inspiration. 

xoxo

Juliet shut the f*ck up!

Now i don't know about you, but i'm getting pretty sick and tired of forced love declarations on social networking sites.


first of all, ALL relationships will have highs and lows and you see that girl posting pictures of her man in a love heart with the caption 'together forever' which she spent hours making on paint so she can put it on...
facebook..
and twitter..
and instagram,,
and gumtree and any other place that hasn't banned her yet

yh you know her.

her and her man have ISSUES

putting up statuses like:
 'oww we soooo in love'
yhhh that girl and her man are on edge.

i'm serious people! shes got issues. When your in a loving relationship where you feel secure you wont feel the need to declare your love to the world and women who do that are only trying to reassure themselves.

now I'm not a Haagen Dazs eating singleton so don't even go there with the 'shes just hating' jazz..

i see you

these girls would claim that their doing it for the 'haters'
in that case shes missing a 'lol' at the end of that sentence because
 hun-ny... have you seen your man? even Shriek and Fiona ain't hatin on your boo!

these girls are simply in denial. now i'm not saying don't show your love for your significant other, by all means, spill out your guts but before you do... just think why? how does this make me look? and when Emeli Sande was writing those lyrics did she want me to rinse the sh*t out of them on my statuses?

TRUST me! he feels your kind of love, WE all do! and its the desperate kind

the worst part is when girls make up lies about their love lives

prime example:


Juliet: dinner with my baby boy tonight <3

3mins later

Romeo: FIFA night with my boys @murdermanP and @MOB #brosOverHoes

Juliet.....babe....

come here for some cyber cuddles you knob

you obviously haven't heard the phrase of the day :

love is like a fart, if you have to force it, its probably shit.

xoxo

you blind bro?

OMG guys!

 i have some heart breaking news..... people seem to be turning blind younger and younger, all i see now-er days is more and more sunglasses, especially at night time. the poor things probably don't want people to be notice awwww *cyber cuddles*

i blame global warming, david camron and tinnie temper. Since tinnie's been open about his eye infection its encouraged more and more youngsters to get outside and say to the world 'YES i'm blind YES i will wear sunglasses in the fog YES! i am proud'

now rumor has it that these youngsters aren't really blind but that their just trying to be kool kats! 

well i don't believe it, i mean what human in their right mind with half a brain would wear sunglasses at night time,

indoors,

in the winter,

in dim lighting.

i mean what complete idiot would do that.

HA! i said, never would any stupid mug wear sunglasses to look cool as your suggestion they do. 

so if by any chance you do this. 

which i'm sure you don't as only idiots do this.

and if by any chance you are doing this in a rave..(which i suppose you are not because it will make you a mug).

and if you are inside wood green shopping center and you are doing this (which you wouldn't be as you are not a moron)

and if by any remote chance you are on the bus (which you did not pay for as you are broke) and you are doing this (which you wouldn't be, as you don't want to look like a blind person who has lost their Labrador) 

STOP!! 

male, female, pitbull

just stop!!!

please? for the love of insanity. sunglasses are there to protect your eyes from sun rays. they do not make you p-diddy or sean paul or anyone else remotely 'cool' they make you...you but with glasses on and partially blind as you cant see at night already and with your sunglasses on it drops your visibility levels to about 30% 

and then they wonder why global warming is getting worse.

people think its \always night time so they wont switch off their damn lights! 

xoxo

you cant be mad hunny!

First of all im sorry its been a while! im a grown up now so i have to go to work (i blame my poor parents but more on all of that on another day)


SO, all im hearing recently is stuff about 'he cheated on her' and 'her man is hungry' and 'she don't know how to keep him'....STOP

stop it all now.

lets get one thing straight before we even go any further.
if your man is a dog
IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT

gurllllllllllll, your a crazy ass so and so if you think your mans nasty behavior has anything to do with you so stop blaming yourself!

and all those girls saying you don't know how to keep a man are just mad because they don't even got one to keep so why are you talking? shriek!

now girls seriously, i know it can happen. when your boyfriend cheats on you, you might think why me? after all i put in, was it not good enough?... and its completely normal to think like that at some point because, when things like this happen, as humans we want to find an explanation and inevitably our self esteem will be reduced because we might feel like we weren't good enough for the one we love. But it like this.... you go into cafe Nero and you buy a cheesecake (the yummy one with the chocolate swirls) but then you see a hot chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles and you want both! so then you give into the hot chocolate too and halfway threw you feel sick and you regret buying the hot chocolate  well your the cheesecake and the other women is the hot chocolate. you boyfriend might not have intended to have her initially but he couldn't control his temptations and thought he could take on you both. and when he realized its too much to handle he lost you and realized his mistake. so how could it be your fault? it isn't! its his fault because hes a hungry fat cow NOT YOU!


The real debatable question is whether its the other women fault at all....

when another women causes drama for us as girls we will probably hate that girl and anything remotely related to her for the rest of out lives but do we really have the right to blame her. i mean after all, she doesn't owe you anything......she didn't know what you and your boyfriend shared....he did! we have to remember also that maybe she didn't even know about you, maybe she thought she was the only one. If she did then that's a different story in which case that hoe needs to wait for karma to get her. But usually girls being as naive as they are, they don't even know what rats are really like.

this is the situation .

he got interested,
he approached her,
he betrayed you,
he flirted,
he kissed her,
he took her to bed,
he slept with her,

now at which point in that sequence did she hold a gun to his head?

see...

you cant make excuses for your men ladies and you defiantly cant blame the other girl because it takes two to tango and he seems like he was doing a whole lot of playing about.

all in all i think we've established that the only person to blame when your partner cheats is your partner and all we can do after that is hope he catches and STI and gets his willy chopped off (preferable in a conscious state for maximum pain)

xoxo

check your credit!

I know most of you think I've become boring and old and who cares about credit right? WRONG! Everyone cares about credit and like always ill expose myself to make you all see that sad sh*t happens! 

 So...you guys know how ive been applying to 45897894573574 jobs and ive been getting nothing but emails from pizza hut and burger king tempting me to eat my life away as the whole job thing is only for people who have one birthday (ill explain later)I actually got offered a job recently after 2 interview stages and a math and English test, which i passed. the only condition was that i pass a credit check. And honestly, i thought 'dunya...you checky so and so YOU'VE GOT IT IN THE BAG!' 

so that weekend i was like...hay you! girl with the job that's not in retail! you go get yourself a phone...you deserved it champ! 

Now I'm gonna make a confession : I've never payed for my phone contracts but i was broke for like...well, for as long as I've been able to count.. so I couldn't afford it. But since graduating, my retail job has made me slightly financially capable of living a working class life and i looked like i had prospects so i thought i'd upgrade my life because one more week with this BB and I'm getting myself a nokia!  

 So as you do, I went to T-Mobile and the sales person was giving me all these deals..free this...unlimited that and I was feeling like i could own it all and im there bargaining and getting myself a good deal. 

So he put my details in.....

'Sorry madam you details seem not to be coming up'

..*shit*...

'is your address new'...

'yes'..

*phew!*

 ...'ermmm, its not coming up, Ill have to do this manually'

...*ffs*

..so he called the T-Mobile head office in india -_______-

 (I should have known at that point sh*t was about to get deep but I thought it wasn't anything major) 

so the man came back after a 10min convo (which I later gathered it was about my LOL financial status) and he said 'I'm sorry madam, we can't offer you a contract because your credit rating is not satisfactory'.

 

WTF! 

 I have never had a loan

 I have never had a mortgage

 I don't owe anyone anything  

What does he mean!!! 

I'll tell you you what it means! it means:

A)I'm gonna be in retail for the rest of my life, which alone will drive me to an early grave and its all because I'm a criminal that owes invisible people money!!

B) I'm not getting this multi-culture accepting job that i worked so hard for

C) FFS! my bb froze again!!

 So I left, feeling depressed and embarrassed..on the surface everything seemed fine..

Regardless of this I registered to credit expert to check what was wrong..and again NOTHING 

 So I was thinking F you T-Mobile

 F you! 

Until... I found out about CCJ's! Now a CCJ is a county court judgment and it happens when you fails to pay back a loan or a FINE!!! Yes if TFL give you a £20 fine and you don't pay that sh*t, your ass will be on pay as you go for the next 6 years! You can't buy a house! You can't have a credit card! You can't have a loan! You can't even sign up to very.co.uk (which I was deeply upset about) so right now you might not care, but you need to sort it out asap! And remember there are 3 huge credit reference agencies and they all may have different information to the next so if you pass one doesn't mean you will pass another. 

The moral of the story is,...

 Pay when your on the over ground because even if there are no barriers you will get fined at some point because...life's sh*t like that

 Xoxo

Hate is just hurting yourself

Now i did debate whether or not to write this post purely because its very personal but i know that sharing an experience may comfort someone somewhere so if your going to mock this or think that this is an over exaggeration you can leave this page and never return...

so when i was younger someone fairly close to me did something horrible to someone i really really love. the result of what happened literally changed my whole life and a lot of people where hurt, but i still have to face both of these people on a regular basis. something I've learnt through life is that you cant change anyone....EVER, because people are who they are and they will never ever change for anyone else, they may seem like they've changed but that's only on the outside but inside their the same person they've always been. I've also learnt to never put my happiness in anyone's hands. i know this sounds simple and cliche but we do it all the time! we let people and situations determine our mood and life! the best thing in life is to expect nothing from everyone and that way you will never be disappointed with what you get because you need to remember that seriously, everyone will put themselves first even the people you think care about you most!!


now the hardest thing to deal with in situations like this is hate..
technically, its a strong and powerful word regardless of the way people use it so loosely, but truly hating someone is rare. sometimes things happen in our life and according to or experiences of life already the intensity of the impact will vary. if you've had a considerable easy life, then something that may be a minor issue to some people can be your downfall. sometimes you start of with an easy life then a series of things happen consecutively and usually your able to become a better person threw it.

I can tell you first hand what hate towards a person feels like and its far from what people perceive it to be. When I hated this person I was in a position where if this person was burning in flames in front of me dying and i could stop the flames i wouldn't and  i wouldn't even flinch. in fact,  its horrible to say but that situation would have been ideal for me. It is the worst feeling in the whole world because it makes you into a person that your not. i swear to you i couldn't even kill a spider without feeling guilty but at that point in time i could see this person dying and feel happy.

what happens when a horrible situation happens to you is that you feel anger for the people who have created this horrible situation for you and it is SO hard to look beyond that and even think of forgiveness but let me tell you something, i only recently learnt about hate...the only person it effects is YOU! if you think about it, your the person who is angry, your the person who is hurt and your the person that knows how deep your hate is so why would you harm yourself a second time for this person!!!!

now i'm not saying getting past this hate will reveal forgiveness. i haven't figured out that bit yet but, i do believe  in karma and equality and people who do bad receive what is destined for them and i promise you this will happen eventually and sometimes it takes longer then you expected but it does happen.

what I've done is used this hatred or anger to motivate me and if you take anything away from this post always remember that the best form of revenge is success, because that's the last thing people expect and that's the best way to hurt them. All i did for many years is feel pity for myself and i felt like i would never escape the situation i was in but, that's not true and you should never ever think that! i feel that no one in this life is given a situation they cant deal with and everyone can come out stronger if they just keep faith in the fact that it will always get better, so be strong enough to believe in happiness after a bad situation and the last bit of advice i would give you is be selfish...because if everyone is looking out for themselves then you need to do what you feel is best for you first, then when your in a comfortable situation you can look at helping others. it is easier said then done but to build a house you need a solid foundation or the house will fall apart.

i really hope this helped someone.


xoxo

The girl Illness!

now ladies it has come to my attention that women on the whole have a genetic dysfunction and it is a serious illness we need to address.

now i'm not saying i'm impartial to this illness, i think every female in the world is a victim at some point in their lives.

its the 'doing-to-much' illness.

now this is what women tend to do when they really like or love someone..they go above and beyond to make them happy and serve their needs.

they will buy them gifts,
they will pay for them,
they will cook for them,
they will accept their flaws
they will feel responsible to make them better if their ill,
and when the day comes and their boyfriend/fiance/'friend'/husband f*cks them over (because this will happen) they will forgive him and welcome them back with both arms and a week later they will be back to their selfless ways.

now here's how i look at it..

most men are like babies.. imagine a baby in their pram and they want a toy to make them happy (a toy being a selfless act you do to make them happy) and then you bombard them with loads of toys all at once...what will the baby do?

in real life, the baby will take a look at the toys, feel them (maybe put them in their mouth but ignore this bit) but after a sort time they will get bored and throw all the toys out the pram and start crying again...but what is there left to give them...a women would buy loads and loads of other toys and give the baby all the toys again and the cycle will continue.

now this is the exact thing that happens when men receive too much love and affection.

if you bombard him with gifts,love,attention and sex what has he got to anticipate for...you've already given him everything right? so he will be fulfilled for a while but after a little while whats going to happen? hes going to get bored and want more because that's just how humans are they always want more..like in life you want good grades, then you wants a good job, then you want a nice house, then you want nice things , it will never ever stop!

but the sad part is when you've given your all and you think you've done a great job, he thinks...hmmm what else is out there in the sea.. and your left thinking what did i do wrong? here is what you did wrong: you expected him to notice and you sold yourself short!

men don't notice...this is a fact in life..men and women are soooo different that they show their love in different ways, if you show your love by giving your all he will think that is just a characteristic of yours, as that's who you are. Now i'm not saying that's intentional or that he doesn't love you, i'm just saying he will not notice everything you do because men do not analyse every single detail like we do. for example of you bring him a drink he will not think that was a thoughtful gesture even if it was.

so how do we resolve this...improve our confidence and be in the mind frame that WE ARE THE PRIZE NOT THEM! you will be treated how you allow yourself to be treated so give little by little and if you give a little and you see no reaction of giving back..stop! stop giving and if he asks why, you can say 'what are you doing for me?' he will then see that these 'toys' need to be appreciated individually and earned!

also, here is the mistake many beautiful ladies make : don't be scared to loose him!

if you do loose him over not giving as much as you did while receiving not much back, then do you know what? there's something better in store for you I PROMISE! (and you can hold me to that)

xoxo

cute-sy boot-sy

soooo...

I thought id do a fashion update seeing as all I've been doing recently is rambling on.. I've decided to do more of these product reviews because its quite useful, its important  that you know what your really getting. Now i'm not saying i'm fashionista in any sense but i feel everyone has their own style and dressing to suit your body is more of a skill them dressing to suit the trend because lets be serious here a leather skirt isn't going to suit EVERYBODY and especially those who are ermm....well you can imagine who a leather skirt wouldn't suit without me being mean...



Here is a sneaky peak into what i've bought this month,

miss selfridge: £65 (but they have 20% student discount right now!)

I'm in love with them!!

i think they'd go nicely with a pair of jeans on a day out and maybe dressed up with some disco pants because i think the way they look on, isn't trashy, like most suede boots that are more regularly seen now and trust me when i tell you it took me ages to find a pair i actually liked.

BUT!

These are suede so that mean when it starts raining you better grab two plastic bags and cover your babies! and another thing with these is that even though the heel isn't very high they do actually hurt after a short while so be warned!

overall, i love them! and pain is beauty so suck it up biatch and remember to hold your head high! 

next stop..a warm coat! any suggestion?

xoxo

i am not a racist!

Before i begin
anyone that wants to have a moan I AM NOT RACIST you cant be racist if your talking about your own race so take that!

yes, this is another well needed rant and I've saved it for 21 years and i'm about to let it allll loose!!

here is my issue: Turkish People..

now let me get this clear when i say Turkish people i mean Kurdish people and some Cypriot Turks..i know some of you will try and hide behind your fake race's just remember an apple is an apple whether it is green, red or pink so shut the f*ck up!

i'm not saying there all like this, i'm just saying 98% of them are and if your reading this your probs not in that  2% i'm not being mean i'm just crushing your dreams before you start building fake hope..

this is how your life goes if your Turkish and you live in north London..

born: you don't go to any pre-schools and the only socialization you have with other infants is if your mum likes gossiping with thier mothers,

primary school: you have to make friends with the turkish kids because even though you live in england your mum decided to send you to an english school with 0% english and the only communication you have with your teacher and other children is nodding your head (even when you dont understand and you don't understand sh*t until at least year 3)

now what happens when your about 7 years old is you become the community translator and guess what that means...you WILL be missing school to go and translate at the council for your neighbor sisters neighbors  aunt because its your duty and everyone is entitled to a council house and job seekers allowance even if they are perfectly capable of working why would they? i mean that's just plan silly!!

in between your part-time translating, school work and learning English you become the house hold maid..you will cook, clean, wash dishes, hover, make your dad tea on demand and be at you mums beck and call and IF you want to get brave and play with your friends instead....YOU WILL GET BEATEN.. with a rolling pin..
coat hanger..
wooden spoon..
hair brush and any other nearby harmful objects

then you hit secondary school..
and you have to make a big decision you will either have turkish friends or friends from other cultures cause guess what hunny you cant have both! this is because the turks will stay to themselves in thier own cult-like group and have no other interaction with other humans and if like me you choose not to be in their click....well you will be known as a whore (even though your a virgin) and a disgrace to your race!! soo be warned!!

now after secondary school i escaped the Turkish world and went to college in Camden (THANK GOD) but there was about three Turkish boys in that school in the years bellow and one of them (i forgot his name damn it!) would always walk past me and swear in Turkish...like seriously...are we in your village Ali? are we? (this is a true story but he got dealt with the English way)

However, there are a few things that still baffle me..

A) why do all you girls dress the same? was there a sale in River Island i didn't know about?
B) why do you persist on making your dad your sole income source? (i know you guys are ballin' now cause you mums pretending to be divorced from your dad in order to receive loan parent benefits while they are still defiantly married) but miss independent is better then miss needy.
C) why do males call their EX's hoes and tell everyone in you little turkish community (he wasn't complaining when he was gettin some and guess what his sisters getting some too so, take that c*nt!)
D) why are you always in some shisha place...i mean have you not heard of other social hangout? give your lungs a rest!
E)why do you stalk all other turkish girls that are not your close friends (i mean i love to stalk some people too but when i have a purpose not because i'm a psycho)
F)why do you not study or work? just a little heads up.. David Cameron's not all that giving so you might want to enroll at your nearest college and get a qualification!! kebab shop wages will take you as far as wood green so forget Selfridges ( ok hunny i know your stuck on this part so here's a definition : a big shop that sells designer stuff p.s river island is not designer!!)
E) it is not ok for your boyfriend to beat you!
F) you will not find your husband inside a coffee cup
G) I AM NOT YOUR 'BABE'


disclaimers: i have to tell you that these stories where not true as i don't want my mum to go to prison for child abuse (although we ALL know the truth)

xoxo

Act Your Wage!

now lets get one thing clear...

there is nothing wrong with living off benefits (unless your too lazy to find a job in which case i hope you get recruited as an apprentice at the pigeon poo collecting agency) but anyway, if you ain't ballin you ain't ballin and that's OK...for now

HOWEVER,

i have noticed a whole load of people trying to act like their Amber rose when their in reduced rails in Primark acting like kfc's giving out free chicken -__- hunny it wasn't all that expensive to begin with ok, now ease up on your grip!

now i must admit, me and china are like two peas in a pod and yes i've purchased fake good and proud but when some asks me if its real i will proudly stand there and tell them when and where i got the hook up so  when people try to act all offended for questioning of their fakes i just wanna hit them with a Wok and once again for ChangLee who slaved over that bag!

this is a true story by the way:

So i was at work recently and these two Nikki-wannabe-barbie-but-barbies-white girls came in and i would like to mention one was wearing their uniform which i will not tell you to protect their dignity but its a shop that sells cheap good and rhymes with milkinson...anyway, she came in with her equally fake faced friend and i noticed she had the Prada executive tote...now this is what it looks like: 

and this bag is seriously £1290 and so when i saw it i was like :O 'is your bag real' which was a sort of a rhetorical question and in my mind i thought 'lol dunya lol' but this girl turned round and was like '-___- of course its real!' and her friend started laughing in hysterics while she remained straight faced and insulted.

NO!! OK NO!! 

don't give me that face biatch!! you and me both know you took yourself to ioffers.com (which is a GREAT site) and you bought yourself a fake version cause that 'prada' says 'prad_a' and that gold zip is doing a dip-die into silver so who you fooling. anyway i continued with 'ooohh well in that case you got ripped off cause i found the same bag for £36.50 on this website' :) and she seriously was fuming and stormed off into PRIMARK (i swear to you this is all true)..im sorry..was it something i said? because i know shes not gonna act like shes Blair on gossip girl when she works in 'milkinsons' and asked for Britney spears-fantasy!

 

i just don't get it girls! if your like this or you are this person (i know your reading this and i noticed HA!) then you need to rethink life! THIS IS NOT LIFE! just be patient and good things will come... and if they don't get yourself a BFF in china like i did!

GOSH!

xoxo

Best of British

OK so i'm about to tell you what i wish someone told me three years ago...

UNI IS A WASTE OF TIME!

i'm serious people, no one cares if you have a  degree in rocket science these days because guess what hunny you cant even be a receptionist (no offence to any receptionist i'm just making the point that i thought all you had to do was look slutty)...

yes I've been job hunting and its going...well...its not going
soooo here's what really happened:

got my results
started applying for graduate jobs
got depressed started eating
started applying for senior retail jobs
got depressed started eating and drinking
started applying for 'no experience needed' jobs
got depressed..gained weight...got drunk...considering class A drugs (ok, not that bad...but close)

BUT, its ok because i've come to a conclusion to why this is happening to me.....
its my name
DUNYA
I mean who wants to employ a DUNYA over a EMMA or a VICKY and to be honest i don't blame them.  like really though, WTF is a dunya?? at least with a vicky you know what your getting.. British, brown hair, medium height, well spoken...then you see 'dunya' and your mind goes into overload...a dunya could be anything!! does she even speak English??!!

so here's the plan...
I've decided to be White English
sorted!

no? NO because then you need extensive experience
why on earth would i need extensive experience when the job description is as follow:

will be required to photocopy, meet customers, make coffee and tea as required and fluent English.

guess what guys experience is essential ok, so it doesn't matter if you slaved over a degree the fact that your not a tea-making pro destroys your chances completely, and so what if you have years of retail experience...its nothing compared to the overwhelming task of stapling two pieces of paper together!! don't you dare underestimate the complexity of a stapler if you don't line the papers up right it could be CATASTROPHIC!!

the search continues...

xoxoxo

motivation for dummies..

....and that quote sums it all up!

listen to me you non-believing (it might not be a words but yea, i said it) not-motivated moany bunch.. stop it! NOW!

lately all I’m hearing is...'oohh i cant do it'...'oohh its so hard to find a job'....'oohh exams are soo difficult' . suck it up punk!

I’m sorry moneys not being thrown at you like your the employee of the month at a gentlemen’s club but unless you haven’t heard life is hard...and for the most part, shit so get with the program!

if you learn anything today if should be this- if you don’t believe in yourself, who will?

its like a sales person coming up to you and saying....'hi..do you want to bye this *state name of useless product* ermmm i dont believe it works...its a little lazy and shit but ermmm do you want it?'. i believe the point is seen here.

so if you have an exam its no good thinking your going to  fail and sitting around moping before even going into the test then thinking i could have done better...like it or not you will probably take that test until you pass so i suggest making revision cards, posters, notes, paper aeroplanes or whatever floats your boat and getting a move on.

and if its a job your after, think of it like this: you know you can do the job, you've proven to your self you can do the job, in some cases you’ve already got an interview which means they think you can do it too, so why are you doubting yourself? 

what kind of world would it be if tom gave up on chasing jerry...and harry gave into voldemort and the people on 'come dine with me' thought, fuck it! were having take out

i think i make myself clear!

now go get em! do it for tom, harry and the narrator if not for yourself!

xx

MC JSA on the mic

first of all, there is nothing wrong with claiming job seekers allowance..i get it...shit happens..its tough out there! BUT, just because you cant make it in the professional world doesn't mean you have to start making up jobs....like the 904589453 young people thinking there rappers. ermm last time i checked talking fast doesn't make you a rapper because if it did im sure most of the girls in Essex would have got the qualification (no offence but you girls do talk at 100mph). Furthermore.. stop hassling me to buy your damn mixe tape when im trying to shop...i know its £5 but that's a bloody shopping spree in Primark for some..soo leave it yh?

and to the hopeless lot...look you've been in the 'game' far too long to be oblivious to the fact that your not going anywhere fast so you might want to take that job as a sales assistant and stop dreaming. wakey, wakey! look lets put it this way, anyone can put youtube on in the background and record themselves on there phone..what are you really offering? i know you wanna be ballin but lets face it, you are not splashing out on anything soon at this rate.

ohhh and don't get me started on the names. prime example:  chipmunk...well that name speaks for it self, its like someone calling themselves badger or hedgehog, how is that acceptable? what else makes me laugh is how they attempt to add originality to their names...e.g ironik.......first of all, just because you changed one letter that sounds exactly like the letter you replaced doesn't even make sense and sorry, but i don't get it. whats so ironik? am i missing the joke here?

i think the message is clear here..making it big in the grime world is like winning the lottery or in terms that are more fitting to this topic, its like being awarded disability allowance when your pretending to be disabled..you can try all you like but the crowd just ain't buying it...sorry 

xx

women and men can not be friends!

when i was younger my mum always said to me 'Dunya boys and girls can't be friends' and like everything she used to say IT WAS TRUE

OK realistically ladies think about it...every 'friendship' you've had with a male has always end it up in one way, either you end up developing feelings for the man and if you haven't then hes defiantly into you and you don't even know it (this is the point you realize)

and for you ladies that say its fine for your boyfriends to have female friends i don't know who your kidding! we all know your pissed about it too! i mean seriously? some other women is gonna be hugging my man? i'm sorry i must have mug written on my forehead. and i'm not an annoying girlfriend i'm just being honest because there are two types of friendships.
The 'acquaintances': these relationships are acceptable there mainly hi and bye and conversations in public.
The 'friend': these are not as acceptable in my opinion when your in a relationship, its meeting up, long and late night phone calls. i mean maybe its me, maybe i'm still living in 1968 but why on earth would another female who isn't a relative be talking to my boyfriend at ridiculous hours of the night?

but it does happen and the best way to deal with it in my opinion is not to give your partner an ultimatum straight away wait for about a year into your relationship then encourage him to spend more time with you or doing other things rather then see the 'friend', hopefully by doing this they might become distant and you will look totally innocent. i know some people might think it to be wrong to break up a friendship but that women will be fine!! find some new friends and move on for goodness sake! OK, so if this doesn't work sit down and say 'look, i know shes your friend but it makes me feel uncomfortable, its not because i don't trust you (which you don't) it just that i want to be the only women you spend time with i hope you understand' that should do the trick

this is my own opinion so if anyone is offended...well maybe you should find some female friends

and to the ladies who needed that push..do your thing and good luck

xxx

hair mask review!

well ladies as some of you know I've been trying to grow my hair back after i had to chop it all off because of the damage it had BUT on my way to new hair horizons I've come across a few good and a few bad products. one product i love is the hydrating hair mask by Hollywood beauty...

 



I bought mine in Paks but you can find it on eBay or other stores that specialize in Afro Caribbean hair products and its about £8 and before i go any further there is no race restriction in these things because i know some people feel a little self conscience about going into certain stores but don't worry!! the sales staff are usually Asian anyway so you wont feel that odd... 

now about the product ITS AMAZING! i feel like it really helped nourish my hair and i do think it helped with the growth of it (along with other products) i use it after I shampoo my hair and leave it on for about 15minutes, when you rinse it out you can really feel it working. your hair will feel sooo soft! i use it once a week as recommended and it does the job.however... i do find now after using it for about 9 months that its not working as well as it did so i'm going to start trying the macadamia range of hair products and i shall keep you all updated.

another products that have helped my hair growth (if your interested) has been the caster oil by Hollywood beauty and the mane and tail shampoo and conditioner. but lets save that rambling for another day ayyyyy...

well i hoped this helped you girls!


xxxx 

the perfect tan

OK so here is the situation....i have olive skin and i tan slower than someone sitting in there house with thier curtains shut in a thunder storm....sooo over the years I've tried every trick int he book here is a few secrets I've learnt that should help you ladies out there who have tan resistant skin..

my secret weapon: LANCASTER!
this brand of sun care is amazing. i usually use the 'tan deepener ' a few days before my holiday then i use  the sun lotion . it is a little on the price-y side but i think its worth it because there such good products.

use with caution: COKE
now i'm not telling you using coke will be the healthiest option BUT  it does help you  get a deeper color but PLEASE put on the highest sun protection you can find before you cover your body with coke because  it is so dangerous to use alone!

STAY IN THE WATER
some people don't realize that you actually can tan in the water , in fact the sea salt helps you get a deeper tan faster! 

CARROT OIL/OLIVE OIL

now this is something i discovered recently and i did try it on holiday and worked quite well. i prefer carrot oil to olive oil as i burnt my skin quite badly with olive oil in Spain BUT carrot oil seems to be the safer option. but again please don't forget to put on a high factor sun lotion before hand.

hope this helped!

happy tanning 

DD

xoxo

tut tut tut

you! yes you looking at her man, BACK OFF!!

listen ladies, i'm all about having a good time and enjoying your youth and if you want to sleep with 8394873 men you go girl!! BUT its those of you that purposely and willingly go for other women men that piss me off!!
the way i see it a taken man is a little like a taken toilet if another women is in it why are you trying to break the lock? FIND YOU OWN CUBICAL DAMN IT!

oh, and don't give me the i-can't-control-my-feelings bullsh*t because you shouldn't have got your 'feelings' involved in the first place i have NO sympathy and i know some people may be thinking 'its not the girls fault its the mans fault...' those women need to wake up too because YES by all means it is the mans fault but it takes two to tango and unless he held a gun to her head her legs should have been firmly shut! honey, this is no open 24/7 off-licence-like situation. i mean i hate to be a sloppy sally here but ALL women have had their heart broken so why on earth would you want to be the reason why another girl is hurt? even if you don't know her. I have one thing to say to you girls: karma is a bitch! and when your husbands leaves you for another women don't be surprised...
hay there's plenty more fish in the sea and that is her fish so keep swimming nemo!




i want to make clear that i'm talking about the home wrecker species in general and this isn't solely about  my own relationship (in which case i will personally hurt you bitches if the thought of which crossed your minds) but concerns ALOT of girls!! and i though SOME individuals needed to be spoken about...

D.I.Y studded shoes

LOOK AT THESE BABIES!!

Who knew spikes and bright colours would create such a beautiful baby...

We could all have a pair for a fraction of the price...so here’s the plan:

1) Find a pair of old stilettos (make sure they aren’t sling backs and that their leather-ish)

2) Pop down to BnQ or any other store that sell spray cans!

3) Then the spike hunt...oww i know this hunt too well soo in order to help you all here are some sites that you can purchase spikes from (make sure their screw back spikes)

http://studsandspikes.com/buy/spikes.html -they take a while to arrive

http://www.craftayrshire.org/leathercraft/spikes-screwback

 and try an eBay search...

4) Now for the beads. You can find these in most craft shops and also sometimes in pound stores!

Now how to make the shoes..

Start with spaying the whole shoe making sure you cover the bottom and heel with layers of masking tape.

Wait to dry....

Now to insert the spikes (this bits a little tricky) 

Take a sharp object like a screwdriver...pierced wholes where you want your spikes to go. then, put the screw from the pikes through the whole you've created with the screwdriver from the INSIDE then screw the spike on..

Now for the heel, get a deep container and fill it with the beads. Cover the heel on the shoe with superglue and place the show in the container with the beads covering the heel... after 30 mins remove the heel and wait to dry

 TADA!!!

Lots of love

D xoxo

The phat phenomena

I might be speaking for myself here but recently hiphop is offering a few intresting phiolosophies of life. For me it all started with the YOLO movment. I mean who knew sooo many people were buddhist until drake introduced them to the you only live once concept. Well needless to say i did my fair share of YOLO-ing in january, then i realised although i may only live one, i have neither the time nor money to live like i do. so after a run in with the law a few times, a hefty fine and grades that joey essex would be ashamed of i gave the whole YOLO situation a rest. Dont fear fellow YOLO-ians ive found a few hiphop termimology that has made the world a better place again. I present to you......PHAT. I mean i used to think there was only fat and skinny in which case i would be fat but after extensive research i have discovered PHAT which is a sort of limbo between the two or perhapez an excuse for the less skinny ladies out there to feel good about there curves. And so they should! Live it up ladies! eat that brownie. Chomp on that burger and suck the life out of that milkshake! We are not fat anymore we are now PHAT . Well i dont see why we should feel guilty for eating yummy food, none of us will take our firmily sculpted ass's to the grave. When was the last you herd " she was a lovely slim women" at a funeral? I rest my case...sooo ladies id like to make a toast, may our bread be buttered, our burger with extra cheese and our milkshake with whipped cream CHEERS!