Although to some 3 years is a long time, to me it has gone by so quickly and effortlessly it seems like yesterday that i first approached my boyfriend and told him i thought he looked like Jamie fox (eager beaver i know! but he seemed really shy so i thought i had to break the ice somehow). Being in a relationship for a while I've learnt a few things about love and partnership that i thought i'd share with you ladies in hopes that it may help you one day build a successful relationship. Now don't get me wrong there is still allot i need to learn but here are a few things I've come to grips with:
1) Make sure you know what your looking for!
I know you guys may not believe me when i tell you this but a week before i met my boyfriend i sat down with my friend and made a list of all the things i wanted in a man. From looks to personality to skill. I had made a long list because i was sick and tired of meeting the same kind of person and wasting my time. Actually i wouldn't call it a waste of time because through meeting the wrong people you really find out what you DON'T want. So for the single girls out there who want a relationship (because it really isn't for everyone) make sure you know what you looking for. write a list or a poster or anything just so you have something to refer to when you meet your next victim.
2) Be patient!
Now here is a lie everyone gets told 'when you meet 'the one', you'll just know'. well that's a pile of sh*t because which one of us have been in a relationship which has failed that we once thought 'this is the one', i know every women who is reading this can agree with me on this one. The truth is there's two types of love. there's impulse love and real love. impulse love happens more commonly when were younger. Its when you meet someone and you have really strong emotions for them but then it fades away after about 3 months and then it becomes more of an obsession and this is when women get mistreated and stay with their partners after being let down over and over again. The thing with true love is that it takes work, patients and an effort on both parts. True love isn't like a sparkler that fizzes for a moment but then burns out, its more like a candle that might go out at times but is easy to relight because the wick is strong and stable. I think the reason why some relationships end too soon is because one or both of the people in the relationship are too scared to work on the relationship in the fear that it might fail and they may have wasted their efforts. But if your patient with your partner after a while you will adjust to each other and true love will begin to form.
3) You will have lows!
The truth is EVERY relationship you will ever have with anyone will have lows and we would be lying if we said we've never had a bad patch. What is important for you to remember is never to give up. Now my partner is better at this than me. i think sometimes when i get angry i think irrationally whereas hes more logical and this is where opposites work well together. One of you have to be the logical thinker. yes you've had a row SO WHAT? it doesn't mean its the end, its just a disagreement and those things are normal. i can honestly say our lows have made us stronger because sometimes we get so comfortable being happy that we forget how lucky we are and that's why lows are beneficial because it helps you appreciate what you have.
4) compromise!
now i know when your single you think ' if my man doesn't do.... i will leave his ass' . In reality you 'man' will do somethings that wont please you and you will want to do certain things that he doesn't like but you have to remember relationships are give and take so maybe if hes told you hes not happy with something that you do you should stop doing it and soon you will see that when you ask him not to do something he will stop doing it for you.. this doesn't mean loosing your independence and don't let anybody tell you that. Its about respecting your man and protecting your relationship. PLEASE pick you battles wisely, everything doesn't have to be a war somethings can be settled with a simple discussion.
5) don't listen to anyone!
ladies i'm talking to you all here! sometimes your girlfriends don't know best. Now don't get me wrong, my friends have never told me to leave my boyfriend but i hear that many girls do have friends that are quick to tell them to leave their boyfriends. do not listen to your friends if this is the case. yes, your friends are looking out for you and in some cases they may be right but never ever ever break up with your partner because your friend told you it is the right thing to do. I promise you one day you will regret it and resent your friend even if it was the right thing to do because you didn't make your own choice. Always make that decision yourself, your friends don't know the in's and out's of your relationship so they cant make that decision for you.
6) show appreciation!
sometimes we become so used to receiving that we forget to thank our partners for what they do for us. so just say 'thank you' once in a while. after all, he doesn't HAVE to listen to you moan about how tired you are, he doesn't HAVE to go out to dinner with you, he doesn't HAVE to drop you to the train station, he doesn't HAVE to do anything, but he does it, for you, so be grateful I'm not saying worship the ground he walks on, I'm just saying say 'thank you' because then he will see that you realize what he is doing for you and it doesn't make you less of a person. If anything, it makes you a better person because your being considerate.
i know this has probably been one of the longest posts I've ever written (and maybe the most boring for those man haters) but i could have gone on for longer because i felt it was a necessary post. i want to take the opportunity to thank my boyfriend for all the love he has given me over the years i really wouldn't be as strong as i am without him and i hope every girl finds the one for them but to my boyfriend i want to say THANK YOU for being my best friend, my rock and my inspiration.
xoxo
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